Worried you don’t last long enough in the sack? Most couples aren’t doing it for as long as you might think, according to new data from Lovely, a sex toy and tracking app for couples. After collecting information from 432 couples and more than 2,000 sexual encounters, the company found that sex typically lasted only 12 minutes for the average couple.
Lovely also organized the data state by state—and once you look at the numbers, it’s clear that some people are more satisfied with their sex lives than others. For instance, people in Maine typically did the deed for 19 minutes and were very satisfied in bed. People in Michigan, however, reported that while they’re happy with their sex lives, they also wanted to change something the next time they had sex. Those people were only getting down for seven minutes on average.
The trend isn’t necessarily prominent in every state, since Lovely only looked at favorite sex positions and how long sex lasted on average. Lots of other specific factors—like oral sex and the level of intimacy— which both contribute to her orgasm, weren’t specifically noted.
Still, 12 minutes seems…pretty short. If you take a look at the peer-reviewed studies out there (or, you know, if you just talk to your partner), you’ll find that many women need longer than 12 minutes to get off. Case in point: Straight women tend to orgasm less frequently when sex lasts less than 30 minutes, starting the clock at foreplay, according to a recent study from Chapman University.
But the data presented by Lovely doesn’t clarify if the 12 minutes includes justpenetration, or if foreplay was involved, too—and that makes all the difference. That’s because foreplay helps build arousal, which makes it easier for her to orgasm, according to Men’s Health sex advisor Debby Herbenick, Ph.D.
So, how can you extend your time in the sack in a way that gets both of you going? Here are three great moves to get you started.
1. Touch Her Everywhere
2. Make Oral Sex a Priority
In a recent study, 37 percent of women said they need clitoral stimulation to orgasmduring sex. One of the best ways to work the thousands of nerve ending on the nub of her clitoris? You guessed it—cunnilingus. Give these oral sex moves you’ve never trieda shot.
3. Experiment With Sex Toys
Find a sex toy that will help increase pleasure for the both of you, like this awesome couples massager. (Plus, finding the right sex toy for you—like this vibrating cock ring—can actually help you get harder and last longer.)
All these techniques will work her up before intercourse even becomes a thing, increasing her chances of coming more quickly once you move past foreplay. Just keep in mind that duration doesn’t always paint the whole picture. And it shouldn’t stress you out to the point of anxiety, which can be bad news for your erection.
One more tip: Occasionally trying new sex positions or having sex in a new place can make things just as fun if you want to switch it up—even if you don’t last as long. Some women even prefer to keep things short, since going too long can get boring and mess with her lubrication.