Most men learn to masturbate quickly and quietly, as testosterone-loaded adolescents worried about parents or siblings walking in and disturbing their personal time.
And those secretive, fast-and-furious habits can spill into adulthood, says Emily Morse, a sex expert and host of the popular podcast Sex with Emily.
“A lot of guys rush the process and never think about how they can spice up their solo sex life,” Morse says.
Are you missing out on moves that could make your orgasms even more pleasurable? Try these five tips the next time you’re alone.
1. Gain an Edge
The 5-minute speed jerk is fine for most days.
But if you have a little extra time, “edging”—also called the stop-and-start method—can help you achieve more intense orgasms, Morse promises.
Work yourself right up to the edge of ejaculation and then take a short break—just enough time for your erection to soften a bit.
Then start the process over again.
Do this three or four times before you orgasm, and you’ll experience more profound, powerful ejaculations, Morse says.
2. Change Hands
You’ve probably tried incorporating your non-dominant hand into your solo act.
You may have even attempted the mythical “Stranger”—sitting on your hand until it falls asleep, and then using it to simulate the sensation of someone else doing the dirty work.
But Morse advises using your opposite hand in more creative ways.
Turn your hand so it slides down your penis forefinger-first, and twist it as you stroke. You could also try holding your penis against your stomach with one hand while rapidly sliding a few fingers up and down the underside of your shaft.
Like switching positions during sex, mixing in unfamiliar hand maneuvers can break up the tedium, Morse says.
3. Introduce a New Friend
Toys aren’t just for her pleasure. “I recommend the Fleshlight to any man who really wants to spice up his solo play,” Morse says.
The popular piece is a handheld column that you slip over your penis to simulate the feel of real vaginal or anal sex. (You can even buy a phone strap accessory to free up both your hands.)
Just be warned: Fleshlight.com is NOT safe for work.
4. Start from the Bottom
A half dozen research papers—mostly on male dogs or rodents—have shown massaging or stimulating the epididymis can bring about ejaculation.
A scan of online message boards related to the masturbatory arts suggests human males really get off on this, too.
The epididymis is located at the very base of your penis, between your shaft and your scrotum, and it stores sperm and links your testicles to your vas deferens.
Massage it while you do your thing, and prepare for some wild new sensations.
5. Bring Your Boys into the Mix
There are nearly as many sex-specific nerve endings in your testicles as there are in your penis. Don’t neglect them, Morse urges.
While individual preferences and sensitivities play a big role in what you’ll enjoy, a lot of men discover an untapped source of stimulation—and more intense orgasms—by pulling down on their testicles rhythmically before ejaculation.
Some guys learn to ignore their penis entirely as they approach the big O, Morse says.