Sex is supposed to be fun, hot, and enjoyable for all parties involved. Yet there are times when we all want to crawl into a hole and die due to a sex position that may seem very appealing to the person we’re sleeping with, but we are most definitely not into.
There have been countless times when I’ve been in bed with someone and thought to myself, Dear god. When will this be over? There is nothing I hate more than this position. My orgasm is light years away from this erotic encounter. R.I.P., orgasm.
Every woman has their deal-breaker sex position. For me, it’s cowgirl. I cannot get into it. It’s overwhelming and simply too much work for me. But give me some good old doggy-style any day of the week; bring in the missionary with a finger vibe. I’m down for *anything* other than cowgirl.
As for the tedious moves others want to see scrubbed from the face of the earth? Look no further. Below, real women expound on which loathed sex positions are their least favorite.
“It’s awkward and therefore unpleasant! In 69, it’s impossible to concentrate on both things (pleasuring and receiving pleasure) at once.”
“I’m 5 foot nothing, and tend to get it on with taller guys, which makes this position pretty much impossible most of the time. On the occasions where the guy has been more my height or particularly flexible enough to sit up and execute this, I just find myself getting either distracted by how good what he’s doing feels that I stop doing my part, or the opposite happens.”
“It makes no sense. I straight up say I’m not going to do it.
“Gag reflex and being squished/can’t focus? No, thank you. My partner and I both don’t like this position and prefer sex/pleasuring each other in other ways.”
2. Standing Up
“I really hate any position that does not involve me not lying on my back or cowgirl. It feels awkward and I end up concentrating on where my legs/arms are vs how it actually feels. When the suggestion to do this position comes up, I say, ‘no, let’s do this much better thing!’ Voila. On my back.”
“If I can avoid standing up during sex, I will. I guess I would like to avoid anything that involves moving around a lot, but this position is especially bad. It looks sexy in movies, but in practice, you’re two very different heights most of the time. How can you stand up and have sex when a penis is a foot above your vagina?”
“Every time I spoon with my boyfriend, I feel like we’re 80 years old. It’s just NOT sexy. I feel like we should save this position for when we’re married and have five children to worry about it. It’s so lazy. We’re young and alive so, let’s do doggy style or something.”
“There is not enough clitoral stimulation. I can only come by touching myself. My favorite is sideways or doggy-style (more lying down than on my knees, though). To avoid it, I just get in another position with my butt out.”
“I’m not into missionary because I feel like I’m being crushed. I don’t know. Maybe the guys I’m sleeping with don’t have enough upper body strength. I always feel like I can’t breathe. It just isn’t for me.”
“Okay, so lotus isn’t THAT bad. It is kind of intimate. What I hate about it is that I can’t get off in this position. I feel like I can barely move. Plus, my partner wants to make out the whole time, which I can’t get into. I need to focus on myself.”
“I kind of like this one, but I can tell my partner is only doing it for me, which takes the fun out of it. I want my husband to be into the sex as much as me and he isn’t into lotus. Am I weird?”
“OMG cowgirl is so boring! I don’t get anything out of it at all. It’s completely exhausting. How can I have an orgasm when I’m dying and sweating? My partner cares enough about what I want that we rarely ever do it.”
7. Reverse Cowgirl
“I cannot even begin to describe how much I loathe this position. Your vagina does not even go in that direction. There is no way I’m having an orgasm when I’m trying not to throw my back out. Also, guys always want me to play with their balls while I’m there. As if I don’t have enough to worry about without focusing on your sack? Pass.”
“I can’t get the rhythm down and also I’ve gained 40 pounds since moving to NYC, and I could do without my partner seeing my butt and love handles from below. I just ask to watch The Office instead. Just kidding. I give blowjobs. And also I wasn’t kidding about The Office thing.”